(We can lie about how we met.)

Dating is hard, especially if you’re in a city packed to the brim with people. It’s no secret that Tinder’s become the go-to dating app for our generation and you’ll see people surreptitiously swiping left and right wherever you go, waiting for that sweet, sweet match. While any mention of the app is usually accompanied by a scoff and some offhand comment about hookup culture, here some Tinder love stories from London and Hong Kong. 

THE GIRL ON FIRE

Why did you decide to get Tinder?

I got Tinder after the end of my last relationship. I liked the user experience because of the limited customisation, which meant I could nonchalantly throw some pictures up without investing that much energy. ‘Swiping’ made me feel like I was actively trying to meet other people without worrying too much about feeling rejected. I’ve never felt I had low self esteem, but being recently single makes you more ‘aware’ of yourself.

What did your Tinder profile look like?

Predominantly just selfies. I think topless photos on a dating profile is a bit much...

Why did you swipe right?

Because she looked fire. I didn’t usually invest much time looking at people’s full profiles. Sharing the same taste in music and humour was a pleasant surprise.

What was your first date like?

We went to a cheap bar and had a nice conversation, then kissed and groped each other for a little bit. Standard good first date stuff, to be honest. 

Can you pinpoint a moment you fell in love?

There’s no specific moment that stands out. I’m a very closed off person. I think I realised something was happening when I didn’t think speaking openly was the end of the world.

Do you think Tinder is a good thing?

I don’t see how you could independently judge Tinder without taking into account all other methods of online dating. Some of the users are SUS. You’re constantly seeing articles about the terrible experiences women of colour have (well women in general, but I don’t think it’s ‘quite’ as bad for some). That’s an issue I have with the male user base as opposed to the platform itself though.

Are you still together?

Yeah, we’re still together.

THE CURE FOR HOMESICKNESS

Why did you decide to get Tinder?

I found it hard to find people in Hong Kong. I think it's particularly hard for girls to date here. I tried it in Australia but deleted it pretty early because I felt I didn't need it.

What did your Tinder profile look like?

Just a brief few words about myself. I think something along the lines of: Australia, Art, Photography, Dogs. I had four or five photos each one was either just me or me and one friend. A few selfies.

Why did you swipe right?

I thought he looked like my style, which I find pretty rare in HK. I guess he reminded me of guys back home.

What was your first date like?

It was nice, we went for drinks and grabbed a bite of food. We got along well and chatted a lot, there wasn't any awkward silences or anything

How different was the person you dated from their profile? 

I think it was pretty similar to his profile, I mean I remember thinking he looked the same when I first saw him. The only thing I was disappointed about was that he didn't have a Kiwi accent, even though his profile said he was Kiwi.

Can you pinpoint a moment you fell in love?

Um, not really. I think we just got along from the start. We had pretty strong feelings for each other early on.

Do you think Tinder is a good thing?

Definitely! I think it's wonderful that it removed the stigma from online dating. And I wouldn't be in a happy relationship now without it.

THE GHOST

Why did you decide to get Tinder?

I decided to get it as London is s strange place to try and meet people. I still don't think that I'll ever get approached at a bar by someone out of the blue, so I thought Tinder was a good way to meet new people.

What did your Tinder profile look like?

"Half British, half Aussie who grew up in Uganda". That's all that was in my About Me section. I think I have five photos ranging from the ridiculous (me with a vuvuzela!) to the classic Grad Ball photo, complete with perfect lighting.

Why did you swipe right?

I swiped right because - well - he was attractive. And although it sounds awful, he looked normal. He didn't look like the type of person who would be lying about anything or deceiving with his profile so yeah. Onto a winner!

What was your first date like?

We had drinks in and around King's Cross, it was quite casual and after work. He was still studying for a masters at the time, so he came from university. It was good! We hit it off straight away, there were lots of laughs and interesting conversations. We shared a favourite author (William Boyd, and I'd never met another fan apart from people from my dad's social circle) so I knew we would get on. We even had a cheeky kiss when we said goodbye.

Can you pinpoint a moment you fell in love?

Date four sticks in my mind, we spent a whole Saturday together messing around on the Southbank. We went to this Indian street food market and had amazing food and beer, looked at Indian art and I even dragged him to a Bhanghra dance class.

Do you think Tinder is a good thing?

I do and don't. I think it's a fun way to meet people and go on dates, it gives you a little taste of what is out there. But with anything online, you have to have your wits about you. I always tell someone I trust or my parents if I'm meeting someone new that I've met online. I also think some people just use it to abuse people and vent their personal frustrations. Having been called frigid and all kinds of names because I wouldn't send some guy a photo of me masturbating makes you question some of the people on there and their motives. But all in all I haven't had a really awful experience so I do think it's a good thing if you're smart with it.

Are you still together?

No, we sadly are not. He broke up with me very out of the blue and for no real reason. I still don't know why to this day and we've never spoken since.

THE TYPHOON 10

Why did you decide to get Tinder?

I was looking for easy hook ups at university. Since we were in a small English university town, literally everybody on it was a friend or a friend of a friend, so it seemed pretty safe. Hong Kong’s a totally different scene though.

What did your Tinder profile look like?

I had some bullshit ‘message if you’re not an axe murderer’ line and got like seven or eight people messaging me variations on, “I’m not an axe murderer...I promise”. I had a few nice photos and then a random one of me in a T-rex pose to switch things up a bit.

Why did you swipe right?

I was so close to swiping left actually. He had this horrible photo with a moustache, sniffing his hairy armpit with a bizarre look on his face. I thought I’d take a chance because I was hoping it was ironic. (I still don’t know if it was.) 

What was your first date like?

Chaotic, but amazing. There was a typhoon 10 that night and I wound up being like 20 minutes late because I went to LKF instead of TST. There was no one else in the bar and we got on really well, just talking about films and shit. Suddenly we were downing all these long island ice teas and eventually got thrown out. We bought a bottle of 7/11 gin and snuck onto the boardwalk at midnight, which had been shut down because of the typhoon. After that, we went to a McDonalds until 3am and made out a lot.

How different was the person you dated from their profile? 

So different. He was way better looking in person. There’s also no way of knowing how much you’ll click with someone, he was one of my best friends.

Can you pinpoint a moment you fell in love?

Not exactly, but I remember an important moment. It was his first Christmas alone in Hong Kong, so I bought him a shitty $60 plastic tree from a stationery store. We finished off a cheap bottle of champagne and decorated it together, which took way too long given it was only a foot tall.

Do you think Tinder is a good thing?

I think so, especially in Hong Kong where everyone’s busy all the time and it’s hard to break out of your clique. Sure it’s superficial, but no less so than striking up a conversation with someone at a bar because they look pretty. You’ve just got to be smart about it and be safe, especially if you’re a girl.

Are you still together?

No, but it was amazing. 

Originally published on SOYJournal.com
soyjournal.com/en/life/post/ tinder-love-stories